Apple Pie

Yesterday, our family baked a pie. An apple pie, in fact. An American tradition.......

It started out with Mommy's good intentions: I must clean out the fridge.... for it is stinky. In the fridge were seven apples, a few of whom had been there for at least three weeks. What better use than to make a pie?

So, Mommy began to chop the apples, when suddenly a little short and tiny, yet very demanding little girl pulled on her pant leg in the kitchen: Mama...up...see-it....doing?...doing?...doing? The little girl stood up on her high chair and, armed with a red plastic Betty Crocker spoon, began to "mix it" and stir the large bowl of apples. Of course, when a toddler stirs things, she doesn't stir like a Mommy would. Since Mommies have to clean messes, they try to keep the mixing in the confines of the bowl. Not so for a Julia. As quickly as Mommy could put the apples in the bowl, Julia "mixed" them out. New task!

Mommy handed Julia the cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg to add to the apples (note: another of julia's favorite words: "shake it.") So, Julia "shook it" into the apple mix. First a few shakes of cinnamon, then the nutmeg.....and then the cloves. Julia loves cloves. I didn't know that until yesterday when she added the rest of the container to our little pie. She shook it violently at first, and when I tried to take it away from her, she shouted, "NO NO NO NO NO" and ripped the top off of the shaker. Soon the apple pieces were bathed in a pile of cloves. Our kitchen's sure gonna smell...thought mommy...

Then onto the crust: I'm not sure about you, but I just wasn't made to make pie crust. Pie crusts were meant to be made by the meticulous types....not the "cook with reckless abandon" types. I consider myself a fairly good cook. Sometimes I glance at a recipe for an idea, but usually I just throw together what's around and it turns out pretty good. I hate recipes. Actually I think I have this complex against recipe-following. How could this recipe in this cookbook be the best way to make this dinner with the exact ingredients I have? Impossible! I think it's a Riesgraf trait. Rules are meant as guidelines. Follow them if you can't think for yourself. :) Pie crust is not so. When Betty Crocker says "five tablespoons plus one pinch" of water for her pie crust, SHE MEANS IT.

This leads me to my next paragraph. I mixed what I thought would be a very delicious pie crust. A dump of flour, a shake of salt, and a wad of Crisco. Vola! NO! My dough wasn't pretty. Julia kept tasting it and sticking her hands in the flour. (side note: toddler + flour = stupid mommy) I can't remember the last time I was so frustrated doing something. The dough wouldn't stick to itself...only to the countertop and Julia's newly-washed hair. By the time my husband found me, I was on this side of going postal. Thank God, I married a Pharmacist. They follow recipes for a living! God knows what we need....and yesterday I needed a pharmacist to make my pie crust.

After Mike fixed my little semi-sticky creation with whole wheat flour (we ran out of white....this is one healthy pie), he made a beautiful apple pie and even cut little teardrop shapes in the top. As he was putting it into the oven, I was on the phone with the pizza place. There is no way I was about to try and make supper. The pie took us almost three hours to make. ...and that doesn't include cleaning up the wallpaper paste concoction that Julia made on the kitchen floor with her spit and the flour that was everywhere.....

Next time, I think we'll do what most moms these days do: go to Cub and buy a Pie. They should cost at least fifty dollars for all the bloody work you have to put into them. I checked the prices today: $3.99???!?!?!? are you kidding me? At that price, I should buy ten! ....except that we have our own pie at home....and it smells curiously like a clove factory..... :)

(sorry no pictures today. Our digital camera was not thrilled about the flour paste...it stayed in the case.)