Single Parenting

OK...don't read the title of this and gasp. Mike and I are doing just great.

I have had the privilege of parenting my small children by myself the last two days since Mike took a couple of afternoon/evening shifts at work to help them out. We pass like ships in the night...I work early in the AM and run home mid-afternoon, Mike blows me a kiss as he flies out the door and then it's just the kiddos and I....

In the last three years of child-rearing, I have learned many things. Today I will comment on how I have learned that Mike and I parent our kids in entirely different ways. Let's take Saturday as and example. I had clinic in the AM and wasn't home. Mike spent the morning with the kiddos. They ate cereal in high chairs with bibs on, did nice clean puzzles, and helped their papa fold the laundry. I came home during their nap and Mike headed off to work. When the kids got up from their naps, they were wearing cute tops and skirts (spick and span, mind you.) Mike dresses them up so NICELY! It was beautiful outside and I wanted to take them to a good park and spend a few hours out of the house. Problem: parks are dirty. My kids were so clean. The thought of changing their outfits before we went anywhere crossed my mind.

I must be honest with you: I am becoming afraid to pick out clothes for my kids. When I get dressed for work, I have two choices: black pants or scrubs. I like to keep it simple. I even bought three pairs of the same black pants because I liked them. Dressing the girls is an entirely different endeavor. I think it's about as easy as shopping for car parts. Mike, however, seems to effortlessly dress them each day, and two darling little girls emerge from the bedroom, simply flawlessly put together. When I dress them, I spend forEVER digging through their drawers of neatly stacked tops, searching and searching for something that might match. I can NEVER find a shirt and pants to match. All of the jeans have girly stuff on them! There are multi-colored buttons and ribbons and pink and green plaid. How am I supposed to find a shirt that goes with that?? Plus, all of their summer shirts are so CLEAN and NEW. I am afraid to put new shirts on them (with good reason, see below.)

Well, after stressing about the thought of picking out a new outfit for the kiddos, I made an executive decision to just wing it. I brought the kids to a park without accessible water in it (no mud, right?). We went down to Bayfront Park, where there is an awesome playground and a big field to fly kites. Julia brought her Nemo kite along and had a grand old time flying it while Mary watched and I fetched Nemo when he made bold nosedives into the gravel.

We ate a picnic lunch at the park. I packed peanut butter sandwiches, strawberries, and graham crackers. Sounds innocent, right? Well, if Mike had been taking the kids outside for a picnic, then it would have been. Unfortunately, St. Luke's Pharmacy had their reins on my husband and I was left to feed the children myself. Mary started out eating a graham cracker. I helped Julia get her sandwich out of the baggie and turned around to find Mary with both hands in the strawberry container, a huge grin on her face. She dug her fingers into the strawberries and smushed them into her face. I was incapacitated with laughter, so I didn't get there in time to stop the strawberries from making their imprint on her formerly pristine-clean white shirt. Oh well, I thought...Julia's still clean. oh wait.

Just then, I heard a shriek from The Toddler. "MAMA!!!!! There's a BUG and it's COMING for ME!!!"

A teeny tiny ANT had wandered onto our picnic blanket. It was heading for the peanut butter sandwich. One brisk moment later, I saw what I knew had been coming to me all afternoon. Julia lept up from her spot and slipped on her peanut butter sandwich, which left a smear of peanut butter along her leg and clean shorts. She fell onto her strawberry-laden sister, sharing some of the leg/peanut butter with Mary. Mary wrapped her hands around Julia's neck, and my blonde three year old was suddenly a nice shade of strawberry blonde.

Oh dear. If only I had picked a park with a body of water in it...I could have thrown the kids into it. Instead, I let Julia take her shoes and socks off and go play at the playground some more. Who was I kidding? The peanut butter might look kinda cool with playground gravel stuck into it. And Mary was merely saving some strawberry guts for later. In her ears.

We went home later on that evening and I washed the kids up in the kitchen sink. I attempted to put them to bed a little after nine. Mary stayed in her crib. Little did I know that Julia had other ideas.

Since there was frost forcasted for Duluth, I was running around our yard throwing bedsheets, tarps, and tablecloths over my precious flower beds. Every time I looked up from my work, Julia was standing at the door with her nukker and snuggly, a little devious look on her face. When I stormed in and asked her why the heck she was out of bed again, she would stutter and attempt to explain herself out of trouble. I have to hand it to her, she is pretty smart with some of her excuses. At first, it's easy stuff, like "I forgot to brush my teeth" or "Can you help me sit on the potty again?" Later, though, she had to think of more creative excuses. My favorite? "Can I sleep in your bed? I think there's a big scary bus in my bed and it wants to crunch me up." Where does she get this stuff? I tried not to laugh, and I told her it would be OK if she wanted to sleep in my bed until I came inside. I let her go upstairs by herself as I was muddy from my flower beds.

When I came in to get Julia from my bed, I found her sleeping in our bed...in a very peculiar way It was so funny that I had to leave the bedroom to get the laughing out. My little girl had somehow managed to curl up using the entire down comforter on herself. There wasn't an inch to spare for anyone else. She also had the bedside fan on high. She was snoring a little and had my feather pillow perfectly positioned on top of her head. I couldn't see her at all. I knew she was in there because I could hear her breathing. How the heck did she do that? And why?

More importantly, why did her mum have to leave the bedroom, overcome with laughter? Yeah, it's funny that she hogged the queen-sized down comforter and that there was a pillow on top of her head....But that's not why I thought it was so hilarious. You see, that's the way *I* sleep, every night. I had no idea that my kid paid attention to those little details. Apparrently, that's just what being a parents is all about.

It's a good thing I washed the peanut butter off of Julia's legs. That down comforter has my name on it.