Showing posts with label Julia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Julia. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Lutheran Schools Week
It's Lutheran Schools Week! The kids get to wear something special to school each day this week. Today is "career day." We have here Nurse Mary and Chef Julia. I knew there was a reason we kept that Grill Team chef hat.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The Mount Olive Christmas Pageant
Last Sunday, our church put on a little Christmas pageant after mass. It was one of those productions where everybody heads downstairs to the "fellowship hall" after church is over and munches a variety of Lutheran goodies...while the kids re-enact the Nativity. This always proves to be an amusing event for everyone. I knew that going in. However, I said a little prayer during church that the "amusing" part of the event would not be brought on by my children. (Julia, after all, was playing an angel! That's a good omen, right?) Unfortunately, I was interrupted mid-petition by a hungry 18 month old, wanting to munch the rest of her banana. I never finished my prayer. I should have.
The pageant started with the a prayer. When Pastor was finished, he said, "I have been told that we need to get things rolling. Some of the little angels are getting a little antsy."
Seconds later, there were kids marching in, two by two, to "Away in a Manger." It was cute. They had costumes...some camels, a sheep, a cow, a thing with horns (reindeer? Goat? Bull? ) Mary, Joseph, shepherds, three wise men, and a few little girls wearing the white "altar boy" outfits with halos on their heads...aka angels. Everyone looked picture-perfect. Except where was Julia? She was supposed to be in the crowd of angels. Did I miss her? She is the shortest one here....
Wait. A few seconds after I noticed my missing daughter, she came rushing in, holding the hand of the "director," being coerced to walk up to the stage. Instead of the neatly combed blonde hair in pigtails that her papa had prepared that morning, Julia's hair was a voluminous rat's nest. Somewhere in it was a tinsel halo, tangled among the sticky strands of blonde with remnants of the five packages of gummi bears she had probably been eating before the show...to keep her busy, of course. When she saw the stage, she broke out in a full run, eager to get the show going.
The first few minutes went well. Julia stood as still as, well, an angel...while they read a few verses from Luke's gospel. The handbells played. The kids stood up again when the bells were done and resumed their roles. Except by this time, the novelty of the situation was clearly over. Julia started getting antsy. She sat, she stood, she spun around in circles on her butt. After the novelty of *that* was over, she walked away from her crowd of angels and stood right in front of Mary. (Not our Mary, but the girl who was playing the actual Mary, standing next to Joseph and the baby Jesus.) Mary, who was being played by a shy, very well-behaved ten-year-old, suddenly was shuffling on her feet like she was stumbling. What was Julia doing? Was I imagining this?
No. I was not imagining it. Julia was carefully scooting Mary backward toward the back of the stage. She wanted Mary's spot. My eyes grew big in horror as I rememberd something Julia had said during rehearsal:
"Mommy, I am sick of being an angel. This is boring. I want to be Mary!"
Oh dear. She was trying to live out her aspirations by eliminating her competition. Julia was trying to knock Mary, the mother of Jesus, right of the stage!
I remembered that prayer that I never finished.
Thankfully, Mary had to leave her post and read a few lines at the lone microphone across the room. When she moved away from her spot, Julia stood there and grinned like she had won the prize. The manger was HERS! Also fortunately, if you haven't noticed, Julia gets bored with things rather quickly. Soon after she had achieved her prestigious position, she grew tired of standing next tp Joseph and simply jumped off of the back of the stage herself.
At this point, Mary, our Mary...not the girl playing the Blessed Mother... decided to take matters into her own hands. Mary notices everything....even when her sister ditches the Christmas play off the back of stage. Over the hush of the nativity, she shouted, "DOOOO-UH, DOOOO-UH!" (Translation: JULIA, JULIA) Mary was no longer content munching on christmas cookies. She wanted to get up there and be part of the show. Mike tried to stop her initially, but I told him to just let her go up there. Perhaps she could talk some sense in to our little "angel."
This proved to be a very good idea. Not because Mary saved the day, but because Papa was now free to collect The Three-Year-Old and put her back in her place onstage before she knocked down the ten foot high wooden star display that probably weighed about thirty pounds. We saw the stars began to quiver...and before I had the chance to sic Mike on Julia, he was already backstage, steadying the heavy star tower....and probably preventing a call to 911 on a Sunday morning and some horrifying nativity bloodshed...
....
Although hesitant at first, Mary approached the stage and climbed right up. No costume and in a bright red dress, she took center stage and tried to act like she knew what was going on. When it came time to sing, Mary smiled. I could read her mind. "I know how to sing! I do that at home all the time!" She "sang" with the christmas carols, loudly and clearly, just like we do in the car: "Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum." Now THAT was cute. People went "ohhhh cute!" Mary glowed. She continued "Bum Bum Bum-ing" a little bit after the songs were over. She actually lasted about half of the pageant up there.
Meanwhile, her sister was able to remain on stage, now fascinated by a bale of straw. Phew. There was plenty of straw there for Julia to pick at over a period of ten minutes. Except for some additional flopping around onstage and obligatory showing of the crotch (why do little girls ALWAYS find it necessary to lift up their dresses in public?) We were in the clear. At the end of the pageant, Julia ran off the stage and crashed right into a pole. It's naptime!
Well, I guess all's well that ends well. And this ended well. The people of Mount Olive got their Christmas pageant. They witnessed beauty, cuteness, hilarity, a bit of danger, and even some nudity. All in all a good show. Next year, I bring the video camera.
The pageant started with the a prayer. When Pastor was finished, he said, "I have been told that we need to get things rolling. Some of the little angels are getting a little antsy."
Seconds later, there were kids marching in, two by two, to "Away in a Manger." It was cute. They had costumes...some camels, a sheep, a cow, a thing with horns (reindeer? Goat? Bull? ) Mary, Joseph, shepherds, three wise men, and a few little girls wearing the white "altar boy" outfits with halos on their heads...aka angels. Everyone looked picture-perfect. Except where was Julia? She was supposed to be in the crowd of angels. Did I miss her? She is the shortest one here....
Wait. A few seconds after I noticed my missing daughter, she came rushing in, holding the hand of the "director," being coerced to walk up to the stage. Instead of the neatly combed blonde hair in pigtails that her papa had prepared that morning, Julia's hair was a voluminous rat's nest. Somewhere in it was a tinsel halo, tangled among the sticky strands of blonde with remnants of the five packages of gummi bears she had probably been eating before the show...to keep her busy, of course. When she saw the stage, she broke out in a full run, eager to get the show going.
The first few minutes went well. Julia stood as still as, well, an angel...while they read a few verses from Luke's gospel. The handbells played. The kids stood up again when the bells were done and resumed their roles. Except by this time, the novelty of the situation was clearly over. Julia started getting antsy. She sat, she stood, she spun around in circles on her butt. After the novelty of *that* was over, she walked away from her crowd of angels and stood right in front of Mary. (Not our Mary, but the girl who was playing the actual Mary, standing next to Joseph and the baby Jesus.) Mary, who was being played by a shy, very well-behaved ten-year-old, suddenly was shuffling on her feet like she was stumbling. What was Julia doing? Was I imagining this?
No. I was not imagining it. Julia was carefully scooting Mary backward toward the back of the stage. She wanted Mary's spot. My eyes grew big in horror as I rememberd something Julia had said during rehearsal:
"Mommy, I am sick of being an angel. This is boring. I want to be Mary!"
Oh dear. She was trying to live out her aspirations by eliminating her competition. Julia was trying to knock Mary, the mother of Jesus, right of the stage!
I remembered that prayer that I never finished.
Thankfully, Mary had to leave her post and read a few lines at the lone microphone across the room. When she moved away from her spot, Julia stood there and grinned like she had won the prize. The manger was HERS! Also fortunately, if you haven't noticed, Julia gets bored with things rather quickly. Soon after she had achieved her prestigious position, she grew tired of standing next tp Joseph and simply jumped off of the back of the stage herself.
At this point, Mary, our Mary...not the girl playing the Blessed Mother... decided to take matters into her own hands. Mary notices everything....even when her sister ditches the Christmas play off the back of stage. Over the hush of the nativity, she shouted, "DOOOO-UH, DOOOO-UH!" (Translation: JULIA, JULIA) Mary was no longer content munching on christmas cookies. She wanted to get up there and be part of the show. Mike tried to stop her initially, but I told him to just let her go up there. Perhaps she could talk some sense in to our little "angel."
This proved to be a very good idea. Not because Mary saved the day, but because Papa was now free to collect The Three-Year-Old and put her back in her place onstage before she knocked down the ten foot high wooden star display that probably weighed about thirty pounds. We saw the stars began to quiver...and before I had the chance to sic Mike on Julia, he was already backstage, steadying the heavy star tower....and probably preventing a call to 911 on a Sunday morning and some horrifying nativity bloodshed...
....
Although hesitant at first, Mary approached the stage and climbed right up. No costume and in a bright red dress, she took center stage and tried to act like she knew what was going on. When it came time to sing, Mary smiled. I could read her mind. "I know how to sing! I do that at home all the time!" She "sang" with the christmas carols, loudly and clearly, just like we do in the car: "Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum." Now THAT was cute. People went "ohhhh cute!" Mary glowed. She continued "Bum Bum Bum-ing" a little bit after the songs were over. She actually lasted about half of the pageant up there.
Meanwhile, her sister was able to remain on stage, now fascinated by a bale of straw. Phew. There was plenty of straw there for Julia to pick at over a period of ten minutes. Except for some additional flopping around onstage and obligatory showing of the crotch (why do little girls ALWAYS find it necessary to lift up their dresses in public?) We were in the clear. At the end of the pageant, Julia ran off the stage and crashed right into a pole. It's naptime!
Well, I guess all's well that ends well. And this ended well. The people of Mount Olive got their Christmas pageant. They witnessed beauty, cuteness, hilarity, a bit of danger, and even some nudity. All in all a good show. Next year, I bring the video camera.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Fun is in the eye of the beholder
Today I was in the kitchen making soup and homemade bread. Julia loves to help out, and since the bread was now in the oven, she wanted to do something else. I was about to ask her to stir the soup when the phone rang. It was the electrician, with a follow-up call. (He came over yesterday to replace a bad outlet upstairs....one day it was fine, the next day it was black and stinky.....) Anyways the electrician told me I needed to unplug any and all of my space heaters for fear that our house would burn down. I must have sounded rather distraught at the mere thought of losing my beloved Heat Machine, because both the electrician and Julia caught on to the note of helplessness in my voice. The electrician told me he wanted to rewire our house and put a special circuit in just for space heaters. While he was waiting to hear my response, Julia, who was still in "help mommy" mode, shouts proudly:
"MAMA! I PUT THE BOOZE ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE FOR SUPPER TONIGHT!"
oh dear.
"MAMA! I PUT THE BOOZE ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE FOR SUPPER TONIGHT!"
oh dear.
The electrician laughs. "Been a long day, honey?" He says. I turned beet-red. Not only does he know that I am an idiot when it comes to anything with current, he now thinks that I am PREGNANT booze hound! I got him off the phone by telling him there was someone at the door. Oh dear. I should have said that the liquor store was closing soon and I needed to make a Beer Run before six o'clock rolls around. I might need to find a new electrician.
And I need to tell Mike to stop leaving the Captain Morgan out in plain sight. Miss Julia knows what it is, and she also thinks that it goes right between the 1% and the butter on the dining room table.
And I need to tell Mike to stop leaving the Captain Morgan out in plain sight. Miss Julia knows what it is, and she also thinks that it goes right between the 1% and the butter on the dining room table.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
State Fair 2009
This picture was supposed to be at the end, but I accidentally deleted it. Julia was asleep before the car left the parking lot. Nice work, mom and dad!
Last Thursday was our annual trip to the Great Minnesota Get-Together, aka the State Fair. Mike's family is nutso about the fair, so we always "get-together" with them and make a go at it. This year, we went on opening day. What fun we had!
We have also sort of made it a tradition to stay in a fancy hotel for as cheaply as possible (thanks priceline.com...) the night before so we can get the most of the day with the kiddos. They expire in the early afternoon, so walking onto the grounds by nine gets us through a few extra exhibits.
Julia partakes in the raspberries that grandma brought. She is eating them on a featherbed...
Mary explores the new turf
The first food of the fair: foot-long CORN dog. Julia had the first bite. It was a delicious breakfast.
mmmmmm...
The next series of photos are quite amusing. After eating Kettle Corn, the Corn Dog, a Deep Fried CAndy Bar (Jenny ate that herself..), we mosied on over to the Horticulture building because Julia wanted to see the honeybees. In the Horticulture building, you can buy a frozen apple cider for 75 cents...probably the best buy at the fair. It's like an apple juice freezie.
Well, I bought one of them for each of the girls. Julia liked hers for a few minutes, then left it in the stroller. Mary, on the other hand, was in seventh heaven. She wrapped both hands around the frosty thing and started digging in with her incisors. Of course, after a minute or so, she had eaten all of the freezie she could reach...the plastic sleeve got in the way. A blood-curdling scream echoed through the Horticulture Building. Mary was in tears. John had a fingernail clipper in his pocket, so I tried to take it away from her so I could cut some of the plastic away.
The second I took it away, my second child went completely postal.
She stopped shrieking and mounted a loud, deep HOLLER. Tears of anger flew slid down her frozen cheeks as she walloped her daddy with the back of her noggin. She was VERY UNHAPPY. She wanted that freezie back NOW.
I tried to cut it as quickly as I could...I managed to bathe my entire face and chest in the sticky apple juice that poured out of the holes she had gnawed in the bottom. I finally was able to cut an inch or so off the top and I gave it back to her.
Silence. No more tears. Smile!
Whoa.
Because I like science, I decided to try this little experiment again just to see if Mary would predictably behave in the same way. See the pictures below for your amusement.
Before. Happy. Life is excellent and everything is in its place...
Papa's hand reaches in and moves the freezie away from the Baby. Fear and anguish...
NOOOOOOOO!!!!
GIVE ME THAT BACK, YOU #(&!$& (!$)%$#!!!!!!!
oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh
Damn you, papa.
Ahh...I love my children!
Next, we took a ride on Ye Old Mill. Julia loved it. Mary's freezie ended somewhere inside, so she had another nuclear meltdown in the dark, wet tunnel. Our boat rocked something crazy...Grandma's sweater took home a sampling of the unnatural blue-hued water.
Mary, recovered, plays with giant legos at the Thrivent booth
They had this cute little farm exhibit for kids. We took the girls through it. They picked corn, fed fake animals, drove fake tractors, and even had the opportunity to plant plastic veggies in real dirt!
Mary takes a ride on her big green tractor
Julia's favorite moment of her life: she got to sit in the cab of an EXCAVATOR. She adores construction equipment. The excavator is her favorite, and she will drive one for her job someday. Then, she informed me, she will "also tell the other men how they should be driving their excavators."
Mary takes a ride on her big green tractor
Julia's favorite moment of her life: she got to sit in the cab of an EXCAVATOR. She adores construction equipment. The excavator is her favorite, and she will drive one for her job someday. Then, she informed me, she will "also tell the other men how they should be driving their excavators."
Look out, world.
Auntie Jenny took Julia down the big slide. Julia had a great time.
This was a very odd scene. While we were waiting for J and J to get down from the slide, I noticed a 50-something woman taking a nap on the very busy boulevard. She didn't have anyone with her, and she was wearing ALL WHITE. I checked to see if she was still breathing, just in case. She was. And now, she has her picture on the internet. Ha!
Julia was getting very very tired toward the end of the day. She did get the chance to see a huge pig give birth to piglets. She was fascinated with the placenta. I didn't want to start explaining that one...
Mary took a nap in the stroller and awoke with vigor. She is saying, "Ohhh..."
Julia and uncle John
Julia had the chance to meet a real live princess! This one was about to have her head carved in butter. Julia was green with envy.
By 4:00, we were in the car. Mary does not sleep in the car. She would rather shriek and demand things that are out of her reach.
Auntie Jenny took Julia down the big slide. Julia had a great time.
This was a very odd scene. While we were waiting for J and J to get down from the slide, I noticed a 50-something woman taking a nap on the very busy boulevard. She didn't have anyone with her, and she was wearing ALL WHITE. I checked to see if she was still breathing, just in case. She was. And now, she has her picture on the internet. Ha!
Julia was getting very very tired toward the end of the day. She did get the chance to see a huge pig give birth to piglets. She was fascinated with the placenta. I didn't want to start explaining that one...
Mary took a nap in the stroller and awoke with vigor. She is saying, "Ohhh..."
Julia and uncle John
Julia had the chance to meet a real live princess! This one was about to have her head carved in butter. Julia was green with envy.
By 4:00, we were in the car. Mary does not sleep in the car. She would rather shriek and demand things that are out of her reach.
There is supposed to be a picture of Julia here, who fell asleep before our van left the parking lot. It's at the top of the page.
Farewell, state fair! FArewell, calories!
Farewell H1N1! I'm glad we didn't spend too much time in the 4H building.... eek!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Single Parenting
OK...don't read the title of this and gasp. Mike and I are doing just great.
I have had the privilege of parenting my small children by myself the last two days since Mike took a couple of afternoon/evening shifts at work to help them out. We pass like ships in the night...I work early in the AM and run home mid-afternoon, Mike blows me a kiss as he flies out the door and then it's just the kiddos and I....
In the last three years of child-rearing, I have learned many things. Today I will comment on how I have learned that Mike and I parent our kids in entirely different ways. Let's take Saturday as and example. I had clinic in the AM and wasn't home. Mike spent the morning with the kiddos. They ate cereal in high chairs with bibs on, did nice clean puzzles, and helped their papa fold the laundry. I came home during their nap and Mike headed off to work. When the kids got up from their naps, they were wearing cute tops and skirts (spick and span, mind you.) Mike dresses them up so NICELY! It was beautiful outside and I wanted to take them to a good park and spend a few hours out of the house. Problem: parks are dirty. My kids were so clean. The thought of changing their outfits before we went anywhere crossed my mind.
I must be honest with you: I am becoming afraid to pick out clothes for my kids. When I get dressed for work, I have two choices: black pants or scrubs. I like to keep it simple. I even bought three pairs of the same black pants because I liked them. Dressing the girls is an entirely different endeavor. I think it's about as easy as shopping for car parts. Mike, however, seems to effortlessly dress them each day, and two darling little girls emerge from the bedroom, simply flawlessly put together. When I dress them, I spend forEVER digging through their drawers of neatly stacked tops, searching and searching for something that might match. I can NEVER find a shirt and pants to match. All of the jeans have girly stuff on them! There are multi-colored buttons and ribbons and pink and green plaid. How am I supposed to find a shirt that goes with that?? Plus, all of their summer shirts are so CLEAN and NEW. I am afraid to put new shirts on them (with good reason, see below.)
Well, after stressing about the thought of picking out a new outfit for the kiddos, I made an executive decision to just wing it. I brought the kids to a park without accessible water in it (no mud, right?). We went down to Bayfront Park, where there is an awesome playground and a big field to fly kites. Julia brought her Nemo kite along and had a grand old time flying it while Mary watched and I fetched Nemo when he made bold nosedives into the gravel.
We ate a picnic lunch at the park. I packed peanut butter sandwiches, strawberries, and graham crackers. Sounds innocent, right? Well, if Mike had been taking the kids outside for a picnic, then it would have been. Unfortunately, St. Luke's Pharmacy had their reins on my husband and I was left to feed the children myself. Mary started out eating a graham cracker. I helped Julia get her sandwich out of the baggie and turned around to find Mary with both hands in the strawberry container, a huge grin on her face. She dug her fingers into the strawberries and smushed them into her face. I was incapacitated with laughter, so I didn't get there in time to stop the strawberries from making their imprint on her formerly pristine-clean white shirt. Oh well, I thought...Julia's still clean. oh wait.
Just then, I heard a shriek from The Toddler. "MAMA!!!!! There's a BUG and it's COMING for ME!!!"
A teeny tiny ANT had wandered onto our picnic blanket. It was heading for the peanut butter sandwich. One brisk moment later, I saw what I knew had been coming to me all afternoon. Julia lept up from her spot and slipped on her peanut butter sandwich, which left a smear of peanut butter along her leg and clean shorts. She fell onto her strawberry-laden sister, sharing some of the leg/peanut butter with Mary. Mary wrapped her hands around Julia's neck, and my blonde three year old was suddenly a nice shade of strawberry blonde.
Oh dear. If only I had picked a park with a body of water in it...I could have thrown the kids into it. Instead, I let Julia take her shoes and socks off and go play at the playground some more. Who was I kidding? The peanut butter might look kinda cool with playground gravel stuck into it. And Mary was merely saving some strawberry guts for later. In her ears.
We went home later on that evening and I washed the kids up in the kitchen sink. I attempted to put them to bed a little after nine. Mary stayed in her crib. Little did I know that Julia had other ideas.
Since there was frost forcasted for Duluth, I was running around our yard throwing bedsheets, tarps, and tablecloths over my precious flower beds. Every time I looked up from my work, Julia was standing at the door with her nukker and snuggly, a little devious look on her face. When I stormed in and asked her why the heck she was out of bed again, she would stutter and attempt to explain herself out of trouble. I have to hand it to her, she is pretty smart with some of her excuses. At first, it's easy stuff, like "I forgot to brush my teeth" or "Can you help me sit on the potty again?" Later, though, she had to think of more creative excuses. My favorite? "Can I sleep in your bed? I think there's a big scary bus in my bed and it wants to crunch me up." Where does she get this stuff? I tried not to laugh, and I told her it would be OK if she wanted to sleep in my bed until I came inside. I let her go upstairs by herself as I was muddy from my flower beds.
When I came in to get Julia from my bed, I found her sleeping in our bed...in a very peculiar way It was so funny that I had to leave the bedroom to get the laughing out. My little girl had somehow managed to curl up using the entire down comforter on herself. There wasn't an inch to spare for anyone else. She also had the bedside fan on high. She was snoring a little and had my feather pillow perfectly positioned on top of her head. I couldn't see her at all. I knew she was in there because I could hear her breathing. How the heck did she do that? And why?
More importantly, why did her mum have to leave the bedroom, overcome with laughter? Yeah, it's funny that she hogged the queen-sized down comforter and that there was a pillow on top of her head....But that's not why I thought it was so hilarious. You see, that's the way *I* sleep, every night. I had no idea that my kid paid attention to those little details. Apparrently, that's just what being a parents is all about.
It's a good thing I washed the peanut butter off of Julia's legs. That down comforter has my name on it.
I have had the privilege of parenting my small children by myself the last two days since Mike took a couple of afternoon/evening shifts at work to help them out. We pass like ships in the night...I work early in the AM and run home mid-afternoon, Mike blows me a kiss as he flies out the door and then it's just the kiddos and I....
In the last three years of child-rearing, I have learned many things. Today I will comment on how I have learned that Mike and I parent our kids in entirely different ways. Let's take Saturday as and example. I had clinic in the AM and wasn't home. Mike spent the morning with the kiddos. They ate cereal in high chairs with bibs on, did nice clean puzzles, and helped their papa fold the laundry. I came home during their nap and Mike headed off to work. When the kids got up from their naps, they were wearing cute tops and skirts (spick and span, mind you.) Mike dresses them up so NICELY! It was beautiful outside and I wanted to take them to a good park and spend a few hours out of the house. Problem: parks are dirty. My kids were so clean. The thought of changing their outfits before we went anywhere crossed my mind.
I must be honest with you: I am becoming afraid to pick out clothes for my kids. When I get dressed for work, I have two choices: black pants or scrubs. I like to keep it simple. I even bought three pairs of the same black pants because I liked them. Dressing the girls is an entirely different endeavor. I think it's about as easy as shopping for car parts. Mike, however, seems to effortlessly dress them each day, and two darling little girls emerge from the bedroom, simply flawlessly put together. When I dress them, I spend forEVER digging through their drawers of neatly stacked tops, searching and searching for something that might match. I can NEVER find a shirt and pants to match. All of the jeans have girly stuff on them! There are multi-colored buttons and ribbons and pink and green plaid. How am I supposed to find a shirt that goes with that?? Plus, all of their summer shirts are so CLEAN and NEW. I am afraid to put new shirts on them (with good reason, see below.)
Well, after stressing about the thought of picking out a new outfit for the kiddos, I made an executive decision to just wing it. I brought the kids to a park without accessible water in it (no mud, right?). We went down to Bayfront Park, where there is an awesome playground and a big field to fly kites. Julia brought her Nemo kite along and had a grand old time flying it while Mary watched and I fetched Nemo when he made bold nosedives into the gravel.
We ate a picnic lunch at the park. I packed peanut butter sandwiches, strawberries, and graham crackers. Sounds innocent, right? Well, if Mike had been taking the kids outside for a picnic, then it would have been. Unfortunately, St. Luke's Pharmacy had their reins on my husband and I was left to feed the children myself. Mary started out eating a graham cracker. I helped Julia get her sandwich out of the baggie and turned around to find Mary with both hands in the strawberry container, a huge grin on her face. She dug her fingers into the strawberries and smushed them into her face. I was incapacitated with laughter, so I didn't get there in time to stop the strawberries from making their imprint on her formerly pristine-clean white shirt. Oh well, I thought...Julia's still clean. oh wait.
Just then, I heard a shriek from The Toddler. "MAMA!!!!! There's a BUG and it's COMING for ME!!!"
A teeny tiny ANT had wandered onto our picnic blanket. It was heading for the peanut butter sandwich. One brisk moment later, I saw what I knew had been coming to me all afternoon. Julia lept up from her spot and slipped on her peanut butter sandwich, which left a smear of peanut butter along her leg and clean shorts. She fell onto her strawberry-laden sister, sharing some of the leg/peanut butter with Mary. Mary wrapped her hands around Julia's neck, and my blonde three year old was suddenly a nice shade of strawberry blonde.
Oh dear. If only I had picked a park with a body of water in it...I could have thrown the kids into it. Instead, I let Julia take her shoes and socks off and go play at the playground some more. Who was I kidding? The peanut butter might look kinda cool with playground gravel stuck into it. And Mary was merely saving some strawberry guts for later. In her ears.
We went home later on that evening and I washed the kids up in the kitchen sink. I attempted to put them to bed a little after nine. Mary stayed in her crib. Little did I know that Julia had other ideas.
Since there was frost forcasted for Duluth, I was running around our yard throwing bedsheets, tarps, and tablecloths over my precious flower beds. Every time I looked up from my work, Julia was standing at the door with her nukker and snuggly, a little devious look on her face. When I stormed in and asked her why the heck she was out of bed again, she would stutter and attempt to explain herself out of trouble. I have to hand it to her, she is pretty smart with some of her excuses. At first, it's easy stuff, like "I forgot to brush my teeth" or "Can you help me sit on the potty again?" Later, though, she had to think of more creative excuses. My favorite? "Can I sleep in your bed? I think there's a big scary bus in my bed and it wants to crunch me up." Where does she get this stuff? I tried not to laugh, and I told her it would be OK if she wanted to sleep in my bed until I came inside. I let her go upstairs by herself as I was muddy from my flower beds.
When I came in to get Julia from my bed, I found her sleeping in our bed...in a very peculiar way It was so funny that I had to leave the bedroom to get the laughing out. My little girl had somehow managed to curl up using the entire down comforter on herself. There wasn't an inch to spare for anyone else. She also had the bedside fan on high. She was snoring a little and had my feather pillow perfectly positioned on top of her head. I couldn't see her at all. I knew she was in there because I could hear her breathing. How the heck did she do that? And why?
More importantly, why did her mum have to leave the bedroom, overcome with laughter? Yeah, it's funny that she hogged the queen-sized down comforter and that there was a pillow on top of her head....But that's not why I thought it was so hilarious. You see, that's the way *I* sleep, every night. I had no idea that my kid paid attention to those little details. Apparrently, that's just what being a parents is all about.
It's a good thing I washed the peanut butter off of Julia's legs. That down comforter has my name on it.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
...it smells like Papa in here....
I need to start writing down all of the funny things that Julia says in a day. That girl is sharp as a tack. Most of the things she notices I never would. Like this morning, when I had her at the hospital with me for a few minutes....we walked into the call room, and she says,
"It smells like Papa in here."
"Julia, why do you say that?"
"Because it stinks in here and he's a boy."
O...kay... I guess I can't blame her for her astute sense of smell. Sorry, Mike. Instead of telling you this, you are probably reading it on the web.
Another one:
I asked her what she wanted from Santa this year. Her response?
"I want Marge."
"Marge?"
"She gives me french fries."
(Marge is the cafeteria lady at St. Luke's hospital. I will have to share this one with her.)
I guess Santa is going to have to figure out how to fit Marge the cafeteria lady into his red sack on Christmas Eve. Why can't Julia just ask for a dolly or a train set?
Tonight when Mike was singing Julia her bedtime song, I walked by the bedroom door and heard a familiar tune. I couldn't place it: was it a hymn? no.... Some Christmas song??? No..... Some classical tune off of public radio? no..... I knew I had heard it before, so I strained my ears to figure it out. All of a sudden, I had flashbacks to seventh grade ballroom dancing: My husband was singing "Moon River" to our kids for a bedtime song. Whoa. What ever happened to a good old fashioned lullaby? Oh well, at least he was willing to put the kids to bed after I had them alone all evening....
Why is it that the toddler ALWAYS knows what items are most important to you? Case in point: my chapstick. Julia likes to hunt for chapstick. Before she was mobile, I swear we had twenty sticks of the stuff. - one in every room, a few in storage for later, one in every coat pocket, etc. Well, Julia thinks it's just delicious. Doesn't matter if it's menthol or sparkly or *expensive Bath and Body works chapstick that was a gift to mommy from a patient*
....!
I will let you guess which tube The Toddler decided to eat today. Above, you can see that Julia found my favorite chapstick in my jewelry box and, while I was at work, schmeared it all over her face. She did tell her papa that it was delicious.
"It smells like Papa in here."
"Julia, why do you say that?"
"Because it stinks in here and he's a boy."
O...kay... I guess I can't blame her for her astute sense of smell. Sorry, Mike. Instead of telling you this, you are probably reading it on the web.
Another one:
I asked her what she wanted from Santa this year. Her response?
"I want Marge."
"Marge?"
"She gives me french fries."
(Marge is the cafeteria lady at St. Luke's hospital. I will have to share this one with her.)
I guess Santa is going to have to figure out how to fit Marge the cafeteria lady into his red sack on Christmas Eve. Why can't Julia just ask for a dolly or a train set?
Tonight when Mike was singing Julia her bedtime song, I walked by the bedroom door and heard a familiar tune. I couldn't place it: was it a hymn? no.... Some Christmas song??? No..... Some classical tune off of public radio? no..... I knew I had heard it before, so I strained my ears to figure it out. All of a sudden, I had flashbacks to seventh grade ballroom dancing: My husband was singing "Moon River" to our kids for a bedtime song. Whoa. What ever happened to a good old fashioned lullaby? Oh well, at least he was willing to put the kids to bed after I had them alone all evening....
Why is it that the toddler ALWAYS knows what items are most important to you? Case in point: my chapstick. Julia likes to hunt for chapstick. Before she was mobile, I swear we had twenty sticks of the stuff. - one in every room, a few in storage for later, one in every coat pocket, etc. Well, Julia thinks it's just delicious. Doesn't matter if it's menthol or sparkly or *expensive Bath and Body works chapstick that was a gift to mommy from a patient*....!
I will let you guess which tube The Toddler decided to eat today. Above, you can see that Julia found my favorite chapstick in my jewelry box and, while I was at work, schmeared it all over her face. She did tell her papa that it was delicious.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Solioquy of a single dad
This one's for you, Spork.
Lately Julia - like all toddlers, so I'm told - insists upon playing with everything but her toys. This would not be a problem if she had no toys to speak of, but that simply is not the case. Consequently, every time I'm cleaning up her last mess, she's making me a new one by "playing" with something else. ("Papa's!" - "Yes, Julia, that's Papa's razor. Can I have it, please?" - "NOOOOOO!" - *razor is forcibly removed from iron grip; child moves on to electric socket with the single word "Finger..." while Papa rapidly attempts to find an out-of-reach place for the razor; the band plays on*)
Sarah received a nice tall ceramic mug as a Christmas package a few days back. Today it was sitting on the edge of the stove, near the step that J climbs to reach whatever hot thing happens to be sizzling on the stovetop at the moment. I'm happily and blissfully washing dishes at the sink when suddenly I hear "Coffee! Coffee!" Glancing back over my shoulder, I see Julia, in one fluid motion, snatch the mug off the stove and pitch off her little step with this huge mug clutched to her chest and land flat on her face. CRUNCH. Complete and utter silence follows for about three seconds (except in my head which is going "Ohcrap-ohcrap-ohcrap-ohcrap-oh...") and then she begins screaming bloody murder.
Suds flying, Papa to the rescue. I'm imagining lacerations and stitches on her already burn-scarred chest, but luckily the mug (and the linoleum) took the hit this time. Unfortunately, I think Sarah only managed to enjoy one cuppa out of this mug before the thing bit it.
I finally managed to calm the child down and I'm attempting to get her to sit down on the floor and not move so I can sweep the thing up, when I hear another crunching sound. This time the cat has selected a bite-sized chunk of the scattered china to enjoy. He sees me looking at him, and with a shout of "BUNG! Drop it!" I'm chasing him across the dining room and behind the couch. I managed to extract him quickly, but I'm not sure what happened to the china-snack. I imagine I'll find it with my foot tomorrow. But the fun didn't stop there...oh, no.
Upon my return to the kitchen, I find Simon and Julia dancing upon the remains of the mug. I lifted them both bodily off the mess and made them sit well away from the mess before finally sweeping it into the garbage. Whew.
What did you do today?
J with her mug, post-accident. Large crack on this side; the broken-away part is hidden on the other side.
Lately Julia - like all toddlers, so I'm told - insists upon playing with everything but her toys. This would not be a problem if she had no toys to speak of, but that simply is not the case. Consequently, every time I'm cleaning up her last mess, she's making me a new one by "playing" with something else. ("Papa's!" - "Yes, Julia, that's Papa's razor. Can I have it, please?" - "NOOOOOO!" - *razor is forcibly removed from iron grip; child moves on to electric socket with the single word "Finger..." while Papa rapidly attempts to find an out-of-reach place for the razor; the band plays on*)
Sarah received a nice tall ceramic mug as a Christmas package a few days back. Today it was sitting on the edge of the stove, near the step that J climbs to reach whatever hot thing happens to be sizzling on the stovetop at the moment. I'm happily and blissfully washing dishes at the sink when suddenly I hear "Coffee! Coffee!" Glancing back over my shoulder, I see Julia, in one fluid motion, snatch the mug off the stove and pitch off her little step with this huge mug clutched to her chest and land flat on her face. CRUNCH. Complete and utter silence follows for about three seconds (except in my head which is going "Ohcrap-ohcrap-ohcrap-ohcrap-oh...") and then she begins screaming bloody murder.
Suds flying, Papa to the rescue. I'm imagining lacerations and stitches on her already burn-scarred chest, but luckily the mug (and the linoleum) took the hit this time. Unfortunately, I think Sarah only managed to enjoy one cuppa out of this mug before the thing bit it.
I finally managed to calm the child down and I'm attempting to get her to sit down on the floor and not move so I can sweep the thing up, when I hear another crunching sound. This time the cat has selected a bite-sized chunk of the scattered china to enjoy. He sees me looking at him, and with a shout of "BUNG! Drop it!" I'm chasing him across the dining room and behind the couch. I managed to extract him quickly, but I'm not sure what happened to the china-snack. I imagine I'll find it with my foot tomorrow. But the fun didn't stop there...oh, no.
Upon my return to the kitchen, I find Simon and Julia dancing upon the remains of the mug. I lifted them both bodily off the mess and made them sit well away from the mess before finally sweeping it into the garbage. Whew.
What did you do today?
J with her mug, post-accident. Large crack on this side; the broken-away part is hidden on the other side.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Pages in the album
This morning I was given the job of amusing you all with my creative witticisms. OK, Sarah actually said "Will you blog today, please?" and because I was half-asleep and not thinking clearly, I said yes. (Not that I think this is a chore - just not feeling particularly inspired this evening.)
Now it is ten to eleven (that's P.M.) and I'm just remembering this little task. And realizing, dear reader, that I do not have any new pictures to share with you, mostly because the camera is in the car that is parked in the physician lot at St Mary's.
And speaking of cars. Here's the lowdown on that one: the local Queen of Wheeling and Dealing (Sarah) managed to snag us an almost-new, four-wheel-drive Toyota Sienna minivan for under 20 grand. This is a big step for us, but one that had to happen before baby #2 arrives come end of May. The Concorde is sold, gone, out of the picture (it was very good to us, but had a limited future and utility in a two-child, one-dog, one-cat family). And this new vehicle is so huge and boatlike compared to our little CR-V that I have unofficially dubbed it the Enterprise (Sarah doesn't know this yet). The only thing I dislike about it is the color: it's that boring beige/sand/tan color that allows the eyes to slide right over it and leave it unnoticed in a row of more exciting vehicles.
Backing up. Since I have no new photos to share with you, here is a selection of my more favorite old ones, dredged up from the bottom of the file folder. Enjoy.
Halloween 2006: Vampire Julia, complete with red glowing eyes.
State Fair 2006. The look on J's face always gets me in this one!
Christmastime 2006: With Grandpa Noel and Grandma Deb.
January, 2007. Julia's first face-forward car ride. She was very pleased with us that day.
Sarah's gonna kill me for this one.
Now it is ten to eleven (that's P.M.) and I'm just remembering this little task. And realizing, dear reader, that I do not have any new pictures to share with you, mostly because the camera is in the car that is parked in the physician lot at St Mary's.
And speaking of cars. Here's the lowdown on that one: the local Queen of Wheeling and Dealing (Sarah) managed to snag us an almost-new, four-wheel-drive Toyota Sienna minivan for under 20 grand. This is a big step for us, but one that had to happen before baby #2 arrives come end of May. The Concorde is sold, gone, out of the picture (it was very good to us, but had a limited future and utility in a two-child, one-dog, one-cat family). And this new vehicle is so huge and boatlike compared to our little CR-V that I have unofficially dubbed it the Enterprise (Sarah doesn't know this yet). The only thing I dislike about it is the color: it's that boring beige/sand/tan color that allows the eyes to slide right over it and leave it unnoticed in a row of more exciting vehicles.
Backing up. Since I have no new photos to share with you, here is a selection of my more favorite old ones, dredged up from the bottom of the file folder. Enjoy.
Halloween 2006: Vampire Julia, complete with red glowing eyes.
State Fair 2006. The look on J's face always gets me in this one!
Christmastime 2006: With Grandpa Noel and Grandma Deb.
January, 2007. Julia's first face-forward car ride. She was very pleased with us that day.
August, 2006. In our little apartment in Fridley (courtesy Aunt Norma) while Sarah was doing rotations at HCMC.
Sarah's gonna kill me for this one.Friday, December 21, 2007
Getting things ready for Christmas
Julia's list of stuff to get ready for Christmas:
1. Christmas cards. Need to decorate the envelopes.
2. Pants, chair, and floor must also be decorated. Use stickers left over from Christmas cards.
3. Taste-test cookie dough to make sure it is up to my exacting specifications. Use measuring spoon.
4. Relax and enjoy ice-cold milk while Papa makes the cookies. Then eat finished cookies.
1. Christmas cards. Need to decorate the envelopes.
2. Pants, chair, and floor must also be decorated. Use stickers left over from Christmas cards.
3. Taste-test cookie dough to make sure it is up to my exacting specifications. Use measuring spoon.
4. Relax and enjoy ice-cold milk while Papa makes the cookies. Then eat finished cookies.
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