Baby Ed, at 30 weeks

Modern technology never ceases to amaze me.

Yesterday, I remember being annoyed because my iphone's internet connection wasn't fast enough for me download a pizza place menu so I could to call in a take-out order from the interstate. I stopped and thought of how silly it was for me to be annoyed. I have this little box-shaped phone thing in my hand that can surf the world wide web from almost anywhere. I can get up to date news from around the world, and I can upload (or would that be "download?") pdf files of pizza restaurants from miles away, order a pizza, and pay for it...all from my phone. It seems rather peculiar that I can walk into a place I've never been and see folks whom I've never talked to...and have them know exactly what kind of pizza I want and to have made it ahead of time. whoa. Sci fi movie? Not anymore.

This morning, I wasn't exactly sure how to find the babysitter's house to bring Mary to, so I typed the address into the thing and within two seconds, it showed me exactly where I was, and where I needed to turn to get where I was going. Again, no futility here. Had it been a few years ago, I would have done the Sarah thing...drive around until I finally discovered Crescent View Avenue. Because of technology, Julia got to preschool and Mary to the babysitter, and thus I made it to my appointment...on TIME!


This morning, I went in for an ultrasound at the OB's office. They were able to get an amazingly clear picture of our baby's face using SOUND WAVES. It was incredible. They can put an ultrasound probe on my belly and bounce some inaudible sound waves off of the baby through my anterior abdominal wall and then a computer takes the data and....zap! A picture of "Ed." More amazingly, the tech was able to copy the images to a disk within seconds so I could put it on my home computer and post them to the internet. In less than two hours, we have digital images of Baby's face plastered all over the blog.

And now, may I present the latest "pics" of baby number three, gender still TBA. He or she was swimming happily and posed for a few pictures.

PS: Baby is rather large (measured at 33 week size on 30+5 weeks...) so there will be another ultrasound around 38 weeks. More pics to come! And boy am I glad I'm seeing OB...they aren't afraid to induce you at 39 weeks if they think the baby is big. Halleluiah!!!!!!!!!

Many things

Hi fam and friends,

I thought of a new year's resolution today. I am going to quit feeling guilty for violating any or all of my self-imposed deadlines that don't mean much in the grand scheme of things. I hope you know what I mean. (I wish I could include things like, " wash the dishes" or "bathe the children..." but I must admit that good hygeine does matter in the grand scheme of things.)

The first thing on the actual list is being the mom that blogs every cute moment of her childrens' lives in order that it might be saved in an e-archive and simultaneously warm the hearts of blog-viewers everywhere. Eau Contrare. (I KNOW I spelled that wrong. Here's to not feeling guilty for refusing to call Mike and ask him the correct spelling.) I have friends that do keep blogs like that. It's amazing. They take beautifully candid photos and post them every day. They also change the color scheme/background of their blog to match the color scheme in the photos. My blog background is white. This is already a set-up for failure, since it is a RARE day when my kiddos are still in white by the time I find the batteries for the camera and snap a picture. By the time I get organized enough for a candid snapshot, the white is now eau de ketchup or eau de fingerpaints or eau-de-violaceous-diaper-explosion-cause-I-fed-Mary-too-many-blueberries.

So there's my New Year's resolution. I also plan on embarking on a new residency and making myself into a more patient mom and a successful ER doctor (my new temporary employment until I hopefully embark on a career as an obstetrician.)

Here are some entertaining bits that happened over Christmas:

Julia and Mary got what they wished for....and prayed for....and God granted them seven times seven more than their wishes. Yes, it's true...our house has been invaded by Barbie and her herem. I do believe we have gone from one to fifty of them over the course of one week of Holiday. I lost count. I also lose my patience every time I step barefoot on one of their shoes and the tiny high heel tries to puncture the bottom of my foot. @%#@*&!!!!!

Annie and I took Julia and Mary to see an exhibit of Sue, the T-rex, in St. Cloud. It's a replica of the most well-preserved T-rex skeleton in the world. We spent a LONG TIME explaining the skeleton to Julia, talking about everything from herbivores and carnivores to death and dying and why everything eventually will leave behind a skeleton and a pile of dust. She was intrigued. I *thought* she was listening to us. The tour guide even took a liking to her and made the remark that Julia should consider a career in science. I was so proud....... I thought Julia was going to be able to lecture everyone at preschool about meeting this archeological masterpiece. And then as we were leaving, I told the girls to say goodbye to Sue. Mary called,

"Bye bye Soooooooo."

Cute. But then the aspiring archeologist child yells,

"Buh-bye Alligator!"

So much for my budding scientist.



Last Sunday my mom and I took the kids to church at the hospital because their mass is at 1030...not 9:00 like the other churches we go to. We sat up in the balcony. The sanctuary was filled to the brim, with patients, their relatives, a few nuns, and lots of hospital employees in scrubs. The balcony was rather empty, so I let the kids wander a bit and look over the edge. Julia was outright naughty. She loves to yell SHHHHHHHHHHHH....which comes out VERY LOUDLY and is heard by all. During the Gospel reading, Mary spotted the nativity scene at the front of the church and started bleeting, "JESUS!" She was SO excited! She found Jesus! She was not going to keep quiet about it either, even with her sister SHSHSHHHHHHHHing her louder and louder by the minute. When we went by for communion, she got a closer look at the creche. I saw a look of terror in her eyes, and she began to yell, "JESUS!!! OWIE!!!! HOT!!! HOT!!!" As I tried to quiet her down, I glanced at the nativity again to see what she was yelling at. Sure enough, somebody had placed a little tea light candle about 2 inches from Jesus little hand. Mary, who had become a bit too famliar with candle flames over the holidays, was voicing her concern for Jesus' hand. She didnt' want him to get burned, too. How thoughtful!

The Mount Olive Christmas Pageant

Last Sunday, our church put on a little Christmas pageant after mass. It was one of those productions where everybody heads downstairs to the "fellowship hall" after church is over and munches a variety of Lutheran goodies...while the kids re-enact the Nativity. This always proves to be an amusing event for everyone. I knew that going in. However, I said a little prayer during church that the "amusing" part of the event would not be brought on by my children. (Julia, after all, was playing an angel! That's a good omen, right?) Unfortunately, I was interrupted mid-petition by a hungry 18 month old, wanting to munch the rest of her banana. I never finished my prayer. I should have.

The pageant started with the a prayer. When Pastor was finished, he said, "I have been told that we need to get things rolling. Some of the little angels are getting a little antsy."

Seconds later, there were kids marching in, two by two, to "Away in a Manger." It was cute. They had costumes...some camels, a sheep, a cow, a thing with horns (reindeer? Goat? Bull? ) Mary, Joseph, shepherds, three wise men, and a few little girls wearing the white "altar boy" outfits with halos on their heads...aka angels. Everyone looked picture-perfect. Except where was Julia? She was supposed to be in the crowd of angels. Did I miss her? She is the shortest one here....

Wait. A few seconds after I noticed my missing daughter, she came rushing in, holding the hand of the "director," being coerced to walk up to the stage. Instead of the neatly combed blonde hair in pigtails that her papa had prepared that morning, Julia's hair was a voluminous rat's nest. Somewhere in it was a tinsel halo, tangled among the sticky strands of blonde with remnants of the five packages of gummi bears she had probably been eating before the show...to keep her busy, of course. When she saw the stage, she broke out in a full run, eager to get the show going.

The first few minutes went well. Julia stood as still as, well, an angel...while they read a few verses from Luke's gospel. The handbells played. The kids stood up again when the bells were done and resumed their roles. Except by this time, the novelty of the situation was clearly over. Julia started getting antsy. She sat, she stood, she spun around in circles on her butt. After the novelty of *that* was over, she walked away from her crowd of angels and stood right in front of Mary. (Not our Mary, but the girl who was playing the actual Mary, standing next to Joseph and the baby Jesus.) Mary, who was being played by a shy, very well-behaved ten-year-old, suddenly was shuffling on her feet like she was stumbling. What was Julia doing? Was I imagining this?

No. I was not imagining it. Julia was carefully scooting Mary backward toward the back of the stage. She wanted Mary's spot. My eyes grew big in horror as I rememberd something Julia had said during rehearsal:

"Mommy, I am sick of being an angel. This is boring. I want to be Mary!"

Oh dear. She was trying to live out her aspirations by eliminating her competition. Julia was trying to knock Mary, the mother of Jesus, right of the stage!

I remembered that prayer that I never finished.

Thankfully, Mary had to leave her post and read a few lines at the lone microphone across the room. When she moved away from her spot, Julia stood there and grinned like she had won the prize. The manger was HERS! Also fortunately, if you haven't noticed, Julia gets bored with things rather quickly. Soon after she had achieved her prestigious position, she grew tired of standing next tp Joseph and simply jumped off of the back of the stage herself.

At this point, Mary, our Mary...not the girl playing the Blessed Mother... decided to take matters into her own hands. Mary notices everything....even when her sister ditches the Christmas play off the back of stage. Over the hush of the nativity, she shouted, "DOOOO-UH, DOOOO-UH!" (Translation: JULIA, JULIA) Mary was no longer content munching on christmas cookies. She wanted to get up there and be part of the show. Mike tried to stop her initially, but I told him to just let her go up there. Perhaps she could talk some sense in to our little "angel."

This proved to be a very good idea. Not because Mary saved the day, but because Papa was now free to collect The Three-Year-Old and put her back in her place onstage before she knocked down the ten foot high wooden star display that probably weighed about thirty pounds. We saw the stars began to quiver...and before I had the chance to sic Mike on Julia, he was already backstage, steadying the heavy star tower....and probably preventing a call to 911 on a Sunday morning and some horrifying nativity bloodshed...

....

Although hesitant at first, Mary approached the stage and climbed right up. No costume and in a bright red dress, she took center stage and tried to act like she knew what was going on. When it came time to sing, Mary smiled. I could read her mind. "I know how to sing! I do that at home all the time!" She "sang" with the christmas carols, loudly and clearly, just like we do in the car: "Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum." Now THAT was cute. People went "ohhhh cute!" Mary glowed. She continued "Bum Bum Bum-ing" a little bit after the songs were over. She actually lasted about half of the pageant up there.

Meanwhile, her sister was able to remain on stage, now fascinated by a bale of straw. Phew. There was plenty of straw there for Julia to pick at over a period of ten minutes. Except for some additional flopping around onstage and obligatory showing of the crotch (why do little girls ALWAYS find it necessary to lift up their dresses in public?) We were in the clear. At the end of the pageant, Julia ran off the stage and crashed right into a pole. It's naptime!

Well, I guess all's well that ends well. And this ended well. The people of Mount Olive got their Christmas pageant. They witnessed beauty, cuteness, hilarity, a bit of danger, and even some nudity. All in all a good show. Next year, I bring the video camera.

Fun is in the eye of the beholder

Today I was in the kitchen making soup and homemade bread. Julia loves to help out, and since the bread was now in the oven, she wanted to do something else. I was about to ask her to stir the soup when the phone rang. It was the electrician, with a follow-up call. (He came over yesterday to replace a bad outlet upstairs....one day it was fine, the next day it was black and stinky.....) Anyways the electrician told me I needed to unplug any and all of my space heaters for fear that our house would burn down. I must have sounded rather distraught at the mere thought of losing my beloved Heat Machine, because both the electrician and Julia caught on to the note of helplessness in my voice. The electrician told me he wanted to rewire our house and put a special circuit in just for space heaters. While he was waiting to hear my response, Julia, who was still in "help mommy" mode, shouts proudly:

"MAMA! I PUT THE BOOZE ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE FOR SUPPER TONIGHT!"

oh dear.

The electrician laughs. "Been a long day, honey?" He says. I turned beet-red. Not only does he know that I am an idiot when it comes to anything with current, he now thinks that I am PREGNANT booze hound! I got him off the phone by telling him there was someone at the door. Oh dear. I should have said that the liquor store was closing soon and I needed to make a Beer Run before six o'clock rolls around. I might need to find a new electrician.

And I need to tell Mike to stop leaving the Captain Morgan out in plain sight. Miss Julia knows what it is, and she also thinks that it goes right between the 1% and the butter on the dining room table.

We've been busy.

Oops. Sorry it's been a month since I posted to this beloved blog. There are many excuses I can think of. And some of them are legitimate, while some are of the "there is no excuse for that" variety. I really am sorry...but before I spend the next few days expounding on many of the details as to why I decided I was too busy to post anything up here, I would like to introduce you to somebody:

"Ed"

(sex unknown. nickname courtesy of your older sisters)

ETA: 3.26.10

(alien-baby picture) actually, the little circle is the lens of the eye

Actually, I think he or she looks kinda like a pirate. Ahoy maytee!

Helloooooo out there!

Good excuse, huh?

Halloween 2009

Happy Halloween!
This year, our Halloween Package Deal included one stinky, kneiving, exuberant skunk, a puffy, zealous, nerd-eating marshmallow, and a patient, industrious, SUPER grandma. We sure had a fun time.

Friday night, we went to "Malloween." Yup...the mall shops put on a trick-or-treating event for the kids in town. I had NO IDEA how popular it was. Mike was working, so Mom and I piled the kiddos in the van and took off. As we were driving away, my neighbor, who has twins, laughed and told us we were nuts to go to the mall. Why? I thought. It's warm in there, and we can practice trick-or-treating.

WHOA. It was UBER-CROWDED. Like cheese curd line, state-fair crowded! There were literally thousands of people there, ushering little goblins, witches, faries, and mysteriously-clad kiddos from one store to another to get free dum dums. (I noticed a blatant absence of chocolate. It was one of those deals where "trick or treat" gets you either a tiny tootsie roll, a piece of gum, or if you're lucky, a sucker...)

The kids were great. Mary stayed in the stroller after her first piece of candy...a dum dum...her favorite...and Julia walked because, frankly, she didn't fit in the stroller in her marshmallow suit.

My skunk and marshmallow, ready for action!

Little miss skunk waits in line for her first piece of glory. The big white blob next door is Miss Marshmallow.

The girls lasted about 30 minutes of Mall O Ween. Then, miss Marshmallow was overheating and we moved on to supper at a mall restaurant.

An evil grin: I stole mommy's wallet!!!! Ha!

ANOTHER evil grin: I am the comander of this ship! Ha!

Julia is in heaven....Grandma Beth actually put money into the ride. Mommy NEVER does that. The girls didn't even know that the mall spaceship moved. Now they do. Crap. I will never carry quarters again.

Home, after a bath, reading stories with g-ma. mary is evilly grinning again. This time, I don't know what she's up to.

Halloween! Papa was master-carver. I harvested pumpkin seeds. Julia helped. Mary "helped."

Julia was grumpy because the pumpkin was making her itchy. She started chucking pumpkin guts around the kitchen and got a stern look from mommy. That's when grandma took the picture. This is the stern look that I got in return for the one I gave.

Evil vampire teeth!

Thar she blows! Julia in her SMarshmallow suit. This year, we asked her what she wanted to be for halloween. We offered typical things: a princess, tinkerbell, a fairy, a witch, etc. Nope. Without question, she wanted to be a "smarshmallow." All righty, then. Papa went to the fabric store and bought out their white fleece and six bags of polyester fiber fill. Let's just say she didn't get cold that night.

A picture with grandma!

My skunk. Notice the dum dum in her hand. She spent the entire evening eating suckers. Mary was actually able to carry her candy bag AND eat a sucker at the same time! What skill!

Family picture. That's the rest of us there behind that marshmallow-child.

Ready for action!

Aidan and Sawyer, our neighbor's twin boys. They were our first trick-or-treaters.

Trick or treat!!!

Hacking

I was a neurotic mother this fall season. I was on a mission: the kids will NOT get this H1N1 flu. I made everyone wash their hands. A LOT. I pulled J out of daycare. We avoided the playplace at McDonald's. I used the anti-bacterial cart wipes at the grocery store. We ate vegetables. I bought five bottles of hand sanitizer and put them all over the house, in the cars, and even at church.

Well, so far, my mission has been successful....sort of. Right now, the kids are perfectly healthy, probably eating candy, and waiting to take their prophylactic doses of Tamiflu. Why the tamiflu? Because their MOTHER is at home, sick with the flu. And pneumonia. I even have an x-ray to prove it. Drat.

It started last week with a little wheezing for three days. I have asthma, so I blamed that. Except that I was puffing on my inhalers like a drug addict. One night, I had a fever and a few chillls. That was it. The next day, though, my lungs grew angry. Breathing is not something to be taken for granted. I started taking steroids for the wheezing, and soon it turned to hacking. When I called Mom yesterday (in the middle of her clinic) asking for antibiotics (I had a sinking feeling that something was growing down in my chest because I could hear it rattling in there), she ordered me to go to the ER. I called her from the ER and said I had pneunomia. Little did I know that she had already dropped EVERYTHING at work and drove up here with Dad, picked up the kids, and told me to go to bed.

My mother loves me.

Thanks, Mom. And thanks, Dad. I hope the kids aren't driving you too crazy and you are getting something done today. Don't forget: television is a wonderful invention....

PS: YES, I have halloween pics of our brood...and they will get uploaded eventually. Now, it is naptime. See ya.